I Saw Your Nuts, Mommy
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"I saw your nuts, Mommy"

Journal entries from a mom of 4 little boys

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  • Jan 4, 2016 - I'm not sure why I bother closing the bathroom door. Inevitably, one of the 4 ninjas in the next room opens it, walks across the bathroom, comes up behind me in the closet, and it's always, Always, ALWAYS when I'm in the process of pulling up my pants. I turn around still not knowing someone is there and jump out of my skin as I see Adrian standing there with a smirk on his face telling me, "I saw your nuts, Mommy."
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Financial Planning of a 7 year old

2/14/2017

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I see Dominic walking by on my left with a handful of quarters on his way to his personal treasure chest (where all manner of amazing boy finds, including spare change, are kept). I ask him where he got those, and he says, "I sold some of my jelly beans." "To whom?" I ask, and he says, "To Adrian and Santi." I have to ask him, "So how many jelly beans did you give them?" And he tells me, "a handful." I take a closer look at his quarters and see at least $4 worth and stare blankly at him for long enough that he says, "What? I just wanted to make some extra money." So with my face all screwed up with confusion, I look over to my right at Adrian and Santi, who are wearing the biggest shit-eating grins I've seen in a while, and I say, "Lesson #1: comparative pricing is important, boys. Do it to avoid being scammed or ripped off. Do you know how many jelly beans you could have gotten at the store for $4?" They look at each other and back at me, so I tell them. "You could have bought a bag *this big*." They say, "Well, we wanted them now, and we can't go to the store." So that was their lesson to me on paying for convenience, I suppose.
Dominic puts away his earnings and stands there thinking for a bit while I get back to what I was doing before witnessing possibly the greatest example of swindling that I've seen under this roof. Then, deep in thought, he asks me, "Mommy, how much dollars would people pay if we sold Max to them?"
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    Hi, I'm Gina. Mother of 5, including 4 little boys. Wife. I can be bribed with good coffee & dark chocolate. Oh, and I can't say no to kittens, apparently.

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