To whom much is given...

What if we touched our husbands and wives more often just because we were within reach? And what if we weren’t but we got closer so we could? And what if spouses acknowledged the things they do more often and on a regular basis said the things they would say if they were about to walk out the door for the last time? What if we set aside the habits we know our kids have so we could spend a few minutes here and there getting to know them individually without the layers of expectations we have? What if instead of talking and thinking about people around the world who are so different from us we thought of all of our similarities to each other… knowing that as we look at the ones we love around us, every person around the world is looking at those they love around them with the same emotions? Knowing that as we pack lunches for those we love in the mornings, there are millions around the world making their loved ones’ lunches also - if they have the food to pack, knowing all of the little quirks each of them has and reasonably accommodating those preferences out of love… knowing that there are friends and men all over the world who seek validation from their spouses and women all over the world who also seek it… just in a different way because we are all individuals with varying love languages… we all share these needs and desires despite what we do or do not wear on our heads, despite our socioeconomic conditions, despite what our homes are made of, despite whether or not we buy our shoes from a store or if we make them ourselves out of materials onhand.

What if when we were out running errands we took the time to seek out eye contact and hold it for long enough to be able to also smile and say hello or good morning or have a nice weekend? What if we all made a point to warm up our expressions so that as we move about our day we all look more pleasant and put out more positive vibes? Do we all realize how much the tiny nuances around us all affects each of us and how, cumulatively, we can change the course of thousands of people's days, which dominoes around the world and can change the course of civilization over time? I if look around and see grouchy faces all day or if I look around and see warmth and smiles... it makes a difference in my own mood.

Something that irks me - call it a pet peeve, if you will - is when I hear someone correlating caring about the feelings of others as everyone getting offended about everything… interestingly, I often hear the same people complain about feeling slighted right after they’ve complained about everyone else being easily offended. So what if we stop focusing on that negative angle and instead focus on doing unto others as we would have them do unto us? Because then we no longer think of being kind and considerate as being some sort of an imposition on ourselves and instead look at it as part of our humanly jobs while we are on this earth… because if we are to spend a certain amount of time being alive, why not make it a good time spent? And what feels better than caring about other people and having them care for us? And what if you don’t get back what you give? Don’t stop doing it. We can’t control what every single person does; but we can control what we do and how we react. You don't get a pass in life for being a jerk just because others are jerks... two wrongs don't make a right... right? And, besides, sometimes hurt people hurt people... and we can all do better to counter that rather than to perpetuate it.

Forget about what you can buy or what you can own and instead think about the richness of a life surrounded by a community that cares about each other… from the local level on out to the world level… one that appreciates and celebrates the differences among us, knowing that it gives us all more character and makes us all more interesting. Yes, we should care about the lives and circumstances of people who just happened to be born some place that doesn’t allow for them to live a safe life with the right to the pursuit of happiness. We should concern ourselves with them. Because we are a fortunate group of people born into our lives by mere randomness… and what if we were born into their circumstances and they into ours? How different would we view our responsibility? I hear people say after a terrible situation where someone is severely injured or dies “Oh but for the grace of God it could’ve been me” and I think what an awful way to look at it… it implies that God cared more for you than for the less fortunate person. And I’m not much of a religious person, but I know right from wrong. And I FEEL the difference deep into my cells. And I’m seeing a lot wrong with this world today… and part of what’s so sad about it all is that I grew up with this idealistic sense that as Americans we were making the world a better place… we weren’t perfect, but we were learning more and more over time and becoming a better group of people, and I really believed we all cared about the plight of people around the world. I remember people speaking of living in the likeness of Jesus, and I remember my perception of that message... the mental picture I had of, the man, Jesus. I barely recognize anything around me that resembles that picture today. Has the church stopped teaching that message since I last attended?

I felt then and I feel now that we need to also care more about individuals in our country who also are left out and forgotten and feel powerless to change their circumstances… they’re not powerless if we all rally around them and agree that we all will fight for equal opportunity and a fair system. There will be those who will not strive to help themselves, but they won’t be our focus… and they’re a tiny fraction of our population anyway. Most people want what most of us want. We are not so different despite what your preferred news source tells you. So our focus could be on supporting our brothers and sisters around this country and the world who are of the same vision… to work hard, play hard, and live a good and productive life. We could listen to them when they say there's a problem, particularly when we are hearing it from an entire segment of a population. We should want us all to NOT live in fear for our children’s safety as they learn to navigate life and understand how whatever the historical baggage they were handed at birth will affect them in ways they don’t yet understand… things that can hurt them and hold them back that don’t hurt or hold other kids back who weren’t born with the same disadvantages. We can eliminate those disadvantages. It doesn't have to be this way. My hispanic child, my friend's black child, your white child, their Asian, Middle Eastern, my cousin's gay child, your friend's transgender child... they can all start out with the same potential and the same zest for life, the same set of rules and guidelines and expectations. They don't have to learn that people might be afraid of you and hurt you, so you need to be more accommodating, more cautious, less... aggressive... than others...

There is a fungus growing right now that is seeping into these little facets of our daily lives that were previously filling in with a warm and and colorful, supple love, openness, understanding, acceptance, and appreciation for everything that makes us - and has the potential to make us - a truly great country. This fungus is beginning to look and feel more normal to a lot of people. It’s beginning to feel more like the kind of home only a previously small percentage of us seemed to want. I sometimes feel powerless to stop it. And then I have moments of clarity where I realize I cannot ever stop feeling my own power, my own ability to continue spreading kindness, love, and all the things I thought our country was made of. Often times I get a renewed strength from a friend who is not having the same sense of defeat that I am in a given moment. And sometimes we strengthen each other when we are both feeling defeated, and our fire shines brighter again. And if any of this resonates with any of you, please keep reminding yourself that we are not powerless. We can still move this country forward and put it back on track, and we can once again be a trusted light in the world… a beacon of hope to so many. “To whom much is given, much is expected.” And it should be.

So let’s go back to the first two paragraphs and agree to start small… because those things are BIG. And hopefully one day we will be able to look back at this dark moment in time and have come away with some lessons that will have propelled us forward because it lit a fire under previously content or unengaged group of folks who didn’t know our ideals were as fragile as they were or who didn’t realize they as individuals were as powerful as they learned they could be. People, like myself, who looked back at events like the fighting in the Middle East, the holocaust in Europe, the genocide in Africa with a judgmental eye, wondering how in the world people can ever get to a place where they are capable of such madness and who never in a million years thought this would be our own current landscape... one that looks like a smoldering fire that at any moment could find a gas leak that causes an explosion... and we could find ourselves in the midst of what could one day be looked back on as a horrific historical event.

We who see the good and the potential in the world truly are the majority; we just have to step up ALL TOGETHER and prove it or else our voices don’t count and our good intentions are wasted. And our children's future world will reflect those consequences. We are our brothers' keeper... and that's not limited to blood.
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